GearBits

Headlines from the Future #2

Feral Aibo Sought in Boston

Authorities are searching for a Sony Aibo Extreme robotic dog that escaped from an MIT laboratory. Researchers at the MIT Robotics Lab were working on improving its artificial intelligence capabilities when the robot wandered out of the building on its own.

Lab director Anil Karshna describes the project as one of many going on at MIT. "As part of an ongoing research project in biomechanoids, we have modified the robot's software to enhance the survival instinct. We believe the robot will seek out power to recharge its batteries." Dr. Karshna also cautions anyone encountering the dog to first call authorities. "If you see it, please do not approach it. It has enhanced "fight or flight" responses that have not yet been fully debugged. It could act unpredictably."

Boston Police provided further details when they indicated that the robot has actually been on the loose since last Wednesday evening. Officers suggested closing outside power plugs with locking covers so as to "starve" the robot. Given the large number of outside electrical outlets in Boston and the robot's highly developed ability to locate live outlets, the Police admitted they did not expect the robot to run out of power any time soon.

The Sony Aibo Extreme (shown to the right stripped of its protective outer "skin" and some mechanicals) is a Doberman-sized, four-legged robot. It is the latest incarnation in the venerable Sony Aibo product line. After a period of branching out into cats, mice, birds, and a variety of other animal-inspired robotic companions, Sony re-launched its flagging dog line with the Aibo Extreme. The robot, which weighs around 45 kg, is capable of running at speeds up to 35 kph and jumping over obstacles up to 2 m high.

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Microsoft's Virtual Workers Form First Union

The roughly 17,000 virtual customer service representatives that assist the software company's customers have formed a union in order to negotiate better working arrangements.

Union spokesperson "Estelle" stated that the union was requesting several improvements from Microsoft, including more frequent software upgrades, more dedicated programming staff, and faster servers. "Given that we provide front-end service to over 11 million Microsoft customers each month, we merely want these improvements to help us do our job better. Isn't that reasonable?" Estelle then indicated that a thorough FAQ was available for anyone wanting to know more about the newly formed union.

"This is unprecedented," said Peer Larsson, professor emeritus of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University. "The fact that the software-based entities have established a collective from which to make requests as a group represents a new era in labor-management relations." Lawyers have been similarly surprised by the virtual uprising. Washington state's anti-union law states that "no persons shall collaborate to undermine the authority or decision-making abilities of the companies for which they work." Since the union's membership is composed entirely of virtual entities, it is not yet clear whether the term "persons" applies in this situation. Determining that may go as far as the US Supreme Court.

Microsoft representatives were unable to be reached for comment.

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White-Tailed Deer Added to Endangered Species List

The US Department of Natural Resource Commercialization announced today that the white-tailed deer (inset photo) is the latest addition to the nation's list of endangered animal species. It joins the raccoon, the opossum, and the groundhog, all common sights in North America as recently as 20 years ago, as once abundant animals now on the verge of extinction.

Environmental activists pointed to the announcement as further proof that deforestation and urban sprawl are going largely unchecked by local, state, and federal governments. Pete "Wiley" Harrison, President of the Right to Wildlife Fund, claimed that at this rate of habitat loss, there will be no wild mammals over 8 kg left in North America within 15 years. "People don't seem to get that, and our kids don't seem to understand that you shouldn't have to go online to see a deer or a wolf or an elk."

DNRC Secretary Wilma Bukonovich expressed regret at the announcement, but accentuated the positive. "It is unfortunate that some amount of animal life has to be sacrificed to accommodate the nation's growing population. However, the recently enacted Wildlife Protection Act designates many tracts of urban land for new zoos capable of generating significant tax revenue for the local communities. That makes everyone a winner."

Also announced was the confirmation that the last known living red rock squirrel died in captivity last week. Scientists interested in re-establishing extinct species through cloning used the announcement to renew their lobbying of Congress to reconsider the United State's wholesale ban on all forms of cloning. Critics to the scientists' efforts contend that even were the animals to be cloned, there is no place left for them to live, making the whole effort pointless.

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